Mireille's Journey To Health


Why, Thank you?


I had an appointment in Urology couple of months ago for things I wont disclose until I have an official diagnosis.  Anyhow, I had to undergo a procedure in which they insert a camera into your urethra and look at your bladder.  This involves stripping down and putting on one of those hospital gowns.  You lay on a really cold, metal bed in a cold, surgical room.  All I could think about is how not wonderful this experience was.  I mean, I was cold.  The bed was hard.  My feet were in stirrups.  To top it all off, the doctor had a camera in my urethra!

On the bright side, the urologist had an amazing nurse.  She was fun and spunky.  She was the kind of girl that could help you feel a little more comfortable, even in the most awkward situations.  Like a said, a little more comfortable.  She made me as comfortable as I could be under the circumstances.  When the urologist was done having a look at my bladder, he left.  She smiled at me and told me it was all done.  She told me to sit up slowly and hop off the bed.  She offered to help if I needed her.  I didn’t.  I sat up and hopped down.  Then, she told me I was “so little.”  She told me she’d be outside the room and to get dressed and come out  when I was ready.  I got dressed, and exited the room.  The nurse gave me a hug.  She really did!  She was super spunky and sweet.

The hospital where the urology clinic is located happens to be across the street from where I live.  I had walked there, so I walked back home.  The whole way home, I kept thinking, so little?  Did she mean lean?  I’d hoped she meant lean.  I’ve made life changes a few years ago.  My diet is very clean.  It’s full of whole foods.  It’s wonderful actually.  My food tastes amazing and my body feels better than ever!  I workout.  I weight train, do cardio, and yoga regularly.  Lean, would be a great compliment!

Did she mean skinny?  I really hoped she didn’t mean skinny.  After all of the years I’ve spent trying to be skinny, you’d think I’d love being told I was skinny.  There was definitely a time when I yearned to hear it.  So many hungry days.  So many sleepless nights because the hunger pangs kept me up.  So many tears.  I remember days when I ate nothing but rice cakes.  I remember telling my mom I was too sick to eat dinner because I’d accidentally eaten a peanut (I’m highly allergic).  I remember doing crunches in my friend’s bathroom at her birthday party.  I wanted so badly to be skinny.

Not now.  Times have changed.  I don’t want to be skinny.  I want to be healthy, vibrant, glowing, and full of life.  I want to be strong and fit.  I want to represent a body of health, not starvation.  Isn’t it funny that those 3 words from that nurse have stayed with me?  I suppose so.  I think it’s because I’ve pushed so hard on both sides of the spectrum.  I’ve done all I could to be skinny and now, I’ve dedicated my life to being healthy and reasonably lean.  I’ve left all desires to starve myself to a skinny state behind me.  I would hope that my body portrays what I consider a far more noble goal of health.

I once heard someone say that you should not comment on a person’s weight or size, regardless of whether or not you intend the comment as a compliment.  The nurse was very sweet, and probably meant tiny as a compliment.  I would advise that if you think someone looks great, you should use the word great.  Perhaps to the nurse I appeared skinny, and perhaps that is what she meant.  However, she couldn’t possibly know how I struggled so much with my body image.  She couldn’t see the huge change.  She just saw a girl who was in the urology clinic for a procedure.  I would advise that the best compliment you can give a girl is that she looks beautiful.  Her size needn’t be noted.


8 comments on “Why, Thank you?

  1. empress2inspire
    August 16, 2015

    I couldn’t agree with this post. The word beautiful is perfect. Every girl wants to hear that no matter how confident she is. I was a heavy person once and I am in the process of losing some pound. 4 months and I lost 24 pounds. I know it may sound less, but whoever has lost weight will know the hunger pangs, the mood swings, the determination to stop yourself from eating not so healthy food. Ah, I still have to lose another 25 pounds to da g my ideal weight. The ordeal is on. But thank you for this post as it is comforting to see that you are not alone in this world. Stay blessed.


    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thomas Dohling
    August 17, 2015

    Well, you are beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. vnktchari
    August 17, 2015

    It has been an embarrassing situation. And, there should be some words to make you feel easy and comfortable to bring you to normal condition. That’s what the nurse had done. I hope. No need to go deep into the sense. And you have done well by posting such incidents so that others in your situations may also feel it a normal way of life enduring such situations.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mireillesjourneytohealth
      August 17, 2015

      Yes, she was very sweet. I’d like to reiterate that I was absolutely not offended. Actually, when I think back on the situation, what I find interesting is why such a simple statement has stayed with me all that time. I really think it’s because of where I’ve been. Because of who I was and what I’d strived so hard for in starving myself as much as I could. I just hope that I represent health, strength and positivity and that that is what she saw. I didn’t want her to see me for what I was then, but for what I’ve become as I’ve developed this passion for healthy living.


  4. ranu802
    August 17, 2015

    Oh! Mireille I loved reading your post. I agree it’s not necessary to use words that make one feel, worried. I’m sure the nurse meant ‘little’ in a good way.Sometimes in a conversation the right words desert us and we say whatever comes in our head. Your experience has given me reason to think you felt a bit shy talking about the procedure, we are humans we sometimes undergo certain procedures due to health reasons. The physicians try what is best for us.
    All the best to you Mireille, I like your positive attitude. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • mireillesjourneytohealth
      August 17, 2015

      Yes, she was sweet and certainly meant it as a term of endearment. Because of my past, I suppose it caught my attention. I hoped she saw me for these positive healthy changes and not for the girl who struggled with her body image and tried to starve herself thin for so long. She didn’t know my past, she was just stating what she saw intended in a positive way. It’s because of my past that it caught my attention, though she had no idea that it would.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


This entry was posted on August 16, 2015 by in Body Image and tagged , , , , , , , .
%d bloggers like this: